Feel Like Post-Event Blues

I am alone here trying to peck at the keyboard.

I dont know how to start and know not what to write.

Ok lets talk about yesterdays ...

Events of yesterdays still lingered in my mind

Nothing big nothing great but its still there.

The "crowd" started with the arrival of Adli and sisters and their mother since 2 days before the Merdeka holiday.

They kept me busy more than usual but I can manage. Forgo my hobbies a few days. 

Can you imagine how hectic it became when later they were joined by a group of my extended family members from the north, from my roots.

And then my own sister and family........... 

They came to holiday in this famous coastal town. At the same time to visit me whom they have not met since so long.

I was quite relieved to know then that only two of them were to be putting up at my house while the rest at the hotel.  My house is too small to accomodate all .....

But most time they hanged out here at this house. Of course I don't mind. They are my family anyway.

But then how can I not invite them to have meals in my house that's our custom thats our culture ...They said don't trouble yourself but I said oh no trouble at all while inside me gnawing..... can I manage ...

You can imagine the havoc because I was not really prepared for that many of visitors. I usually cook only for two and not used to cooking in big quantity

 I don't mind ...really- I tried and not forgetting thanks to my sister and neice who helped.

 I was at first overwhelmed by their presence, met them all so long ago some when they were still very small, and some I never met before. A little awkward of course. But the warmth slowly built up, good feeling developed and soon everybody was chattering away.  

It was not easy to handle the situation singled handed somehow I think I managed to entertain them with my my cooking, with my stories ...

There was so much to talk about,  so  much noise so much laughter......... and so much love

Happy family reunion of sorts ... what a happening

This morning all of them including Adli and siblings had left.

I watched them go until their cars disappeared from my view.

Suddently my home was so quiet.

I watered my plants 

I removed the dried leaves and flowers that littered my car

What else to do ....

It was quite hard to control a post-event feeling.

It was quite hard to hold back the tears....

The "crowd" 😃

I sooth myself by playing this song

National Day

Tomorrow 31st August is our national day. The nation is celebrating. People express their patriotism in various ways.

I express it this way -

Selamat Hari Merdeka !!

Time Ticking

Time does not stand still. it is passing , passing.  

Sometimes you want time to slow down but sometimes you prefer it to go faster. it depends on your wishes. Fact is time has its own speed its just how we feel about it depending on the state of our mind.

But what time can do we cannot deny for example me -aging my children older my grandchildren bigger.

The trees I planted some have died a natural death some being mercilessly chopped down.

With the passing of time the trees in my garden have grown so tall posing danger of falling on to the house so they have to be cut down. Yes the four tall gaharu trees were chop off many months ago their stumps have begun to rot even.

The cempaka trees were chopped off halfway now they are growing back with vengeance, the leaves more lush and  flowers are more and bigger.

The dukong tree is still growing but no more fruiting.

The belimbing tree is very old now that the bark of stem and branches are wrinkling and peeling.

But the passing of time cannot yet make me tired of gardening.

I don't plant that much but i keep on planting though they keep on dying. In a way thats the way of passing my time.

These few days I keep spending time rearrranging the plants and trimming the grass and making the ground tidy. 

The children are coming and I am quite excited because they have not come visiting like they used to before when they were small. 

Now they are all already of study age. The first grand already in the university the second in college the other in secondary and the one younger in the primary. Adli is in pre school. See how time flies ... yet here I remain still tending my little garden.

I feel happy today the ground is tidy when Adli comes he can roll on that grass...

 

I love this leaning tree

I should be spending more time doing the garden to make it better but alas I don't have the time. My new interest is stealing my gardening time.

el Reloj (the clock) 

Till next posting 

 

 

Start Again

 

Today i feel like blogging again . I have stopped for more than a year. Many reasons are... or really there is no reasons at all.

Perhaps its the facebook that i just come to lately, that may take away my interest in blogging. 

Perhaps its the youtube.

But after many wasting days and monthes i am coming back here. i miss blogging actually. 

I am just a lonely soul in the cyberspace . I really don't interact much. i am just wandering and wondering and "seeing" the world from the comfort of my home.

i just like to read and write. i don't mind my writing is not read by anyone. i just want to write so that my aging mind won't get to rust and render me a useless individual before its time.

When i stumble on some good write i wish i can write as good. When i see some awesome photos i wish i can take photos just as good but of course i can't as i lack knowledge but it doesn't matter to me if i just can dream of being a good author or a good photographer.

When i listen to some good music i wish i can make one just as good or play the music just as good. Reality is i can't. But i don't feel so bad as like giving up life for all that i lack. Its ok to dream 😐 and thankful that i still can do things i like.

Of course i can't keep on dreaming. My friends, not many, will laugh if they know i at this age have not stopped dreaming. Or maybe they too are still having dreams and despair at unfullfill wants in their lives. 

And so as not to keep on wishing i did what i did. I have created a youtube channel where i can upload my music. That way i can push myself to do something instead of wanting to do but not doing. i have a target to upload at least 2 songs a month.  

Actually its not my own music but i learn and play those found in music books that i bought. and some i play by ear those songs i love and grow up with such as this

There are more at my youtube channel @halizmas

Hope you enjoy 

Till next posting...